Irresponsible girlfriend lets her reckless brother drive her boyfriend's car, he crashes it, and she gets upset when the boyfriend forbids her from ever taking his car again

Author image for Giuliana Tiscioni
Giuliana Tiscioni • Writer
Sep 17, 2026 5:15 PM EDT

If you break it, you buy it, or in this case, you pay for the damages.

A young man lent his car to his girlfriend so she could go pick up her brother from the airport, since her car seemed to be at the shop. The thing is, the girlfriend let her brother drive, and he tends to be a reckless driver. So much so that he crashed into the rear of another car. The boyfriend is furious about it, since now he has to pay to get it fixed. Even though the brother offered to pay for it, the guy is too young and irresponsible, and he has never been in debt to anyone. The boyfriend is mad at his girlfriend for giving him the car while knowing his terrible history with driving, and she is upset about him complaining and says he's exaggerating and being controlling. 

In my personal opinion, when someone lends you something as valuable as their car, you make sure to take care of it. Meaning that you won't let other people use it, drive it, or do anything to it. After all, it belongs to someone else, and they are just doing you a favour by letting you use it. A person is entitled to want to have their stuff well taken care of, and is also entitled to complain about the complete lack of responsibility others show regarding their belongings. In this case, the girlfriend was just as irresponsible as her brother, and the boyfriend has the right to feel offended and disappointed because she didn't respect him or his property enough to take good care of it. If he chooses not to lend it to her again, he's in his right to do so. She very well could have offered to take care of the payments for the repairs instead of complaining and calling him controlling. Since she didn't, he has the right to decide who drives the car and to be protective of his property. 

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  • AITA for telling my girlfriend she can't keep using my car after she let her brother drive it and he crashed it?

    My girlfriend (27F) and I (29M) have been together for 2 years. I have a decent car that I paid for
    via Old_Number_2363
  • myself, and I let her use it when hers was in the shop or for errands. I've never had an issue with that.
    via Old_Number_2363
  • Last week, she asked to borrow my car to pick up her brother from the airport. I said sure. What she didn't tell me was that she let her brother
    via Old_Number_2363
  • drive it. He's 23 and, from what I know, has a history of reckless driving. I found out because he crashed it-rear-ended someone
    via Old_Number_2363
  • Cheezburger Image 10664491776
    via Midas Hofstra for Unsplash+

    The reckless brother. 

    Model portrayal.

  • at a stoplight. Nobody was hurt, but my front bumper is destroyed and there's frame damage.
    via Old_Number_2363
  • 10-5-21
    via Josh Sonnenberg for Unsplash+

    The crashed car. 

    Image for illustrative purposes.

  • When I confronted her, she said she "didn't think it was a big deal" and that her brother "offered to pay for it." I told her his "offer"
    via Old_Number_2363
  • doesn't mean anything he doesn't have a job and has never paid anyone back for anything. I told her she can't use my car
    via Old_Number_2363
  • Cheezburger Image 10664483328
    via Getty Images For Unsplash+

    The boyfriend when the girlfriend tells him about the accident. 

    Recreated scenario included to enhance reader understanding.  

  • anymore, period. She got upset and said I was "overreacting" and that "it's just a car."
    via Old_Number_2363
  • I told her it's MY car, MY insurance, and MY problem to deal with now. She said I was being "controlling" and that I should "trust her judgment."
    via Old_Number_2363
  • I don't trust her judgment anymore. She let someone I don't know drive my car without asking me. AITA?
    via Old_Number_2363
  • Fantastic_Count8010 Your girlfriend let someone drive your car without you knowing and they ended up crashing. I wouldn't let anyone drive my car after that either tbh... NTA
    via Fantastic_Count8010
  • mspe1960 You are being controlling? How? What have you done that is controlling? "It's just a car"? She is gaslighting you. In case you have not figured it out - she is a bad person.
    via mspe1960
  • You need to dump her and sue her for the damage she caused. She will be nothing but problems for whoever ends up with her
    via mspe1960
  • Electrical-Dingo-856 You lent the car to your girlfriend, morally she should be the one responsible for restitution.
    via Electrical-Dingo-856
  • She pays, or makes her brother pay. And never drives again
    via Electrical-Dingo-856
  • Oroku-Saki-84 This is insane. If I'd done this I'd expect to never be borrowing anything again.
    via Oroku-Saki-84
  • ConsciousNectarine9 Ooo boy, one of those. In the nicest way possible, I would use this as what it is. A precursor to what the relationship will be like going forward. And that would lead to a huge nope from me.
    via ConsciousNectarine9

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boyfriend payments AITAH brother car reckless reddit story car crash driving girlfriend property Reddit
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